Thursday, 21 October 2010

Our insatiable desire to beat ourselves up.

I work with people from many backgrounds, male, female, black, white, tall, thin, small, and on and on. There is something that comes through constantly, even with the most self assured clients. We have the most amazing capacity to berate ourselves and beat up on ourselves in the most glorious and ingenious ways.
We don't congratulate or praise ourselves on the good, we move on too quick, we do't go back there to our good achievements for support or help or to look at how well we've done in the past, get feed back from the positives or build new ways forward, we just focus on the bad which is illusory and fleeting, temporary. If I was to say anything it would be for gods sake give yourself an even break lay off, you wouldn't treat some of your "enemies" like that.
It all stems from learned behaviours when you were young. Never being praised or complimented when we behaved or achieved something, but immediately criticized when we stepped just slightly out of line.
If you are a parent reading this, please, please realise the importance of your words when directed at your own kids or any one elses for that matter.

Hugs, Allan

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